Freedom Friday: It Takes a Village to Raise a Relationship Edition

Hello Good Folks!

TGIF!

Love is in the air for ThatKellieGirl.  I am happy to announce that my Honey proposed to me on Valentine’s Day!  I have been on cloud 9 ever since.  It was truly one of the happiest days in my life.  And what makes it even more special is the overwhelming response of love and support from family and friends.  I truly feel blessed. 

However, what is so interesting to me, is that as I make this transition to “become one” with the love of my life,  I find it even more important to have a stronger relationship with my family and friends.  I know a lot of people enter into a relationship with a “bonnie and clyde”  or “us against the world” type of mentality.  And  I guess that makes the relationship stronger.  However, I prefer to use love as the foundation of this marriage (and really ALL my relationships).  

 I also am  understanding the importance of  the village or  a support system.  Not only do you need a village to raise a child, but to raise a family.  I believe that marriages are at a dismal low because society celebrates the self, the ego more than the family.  The single person is supposedly happier than the married couple.  This might be true, but I tend to think it just depends on the person.   Yet, the barrage of messages and lack of examples makes it challenging to enter and maintain a relationship, let alone a marriage.  I believe a married person can be just as fulfilled as a single person.  The variable is the willingness of the person, single or married, to work at it.  

My village is  my family.  They  provide the most support to me.  And as I have matured, I find that a support system is more about learning and giving than receiving.  At times, we don’t nurture our relationships, and wonder why we have drifted from friends and family.  Or the relationship is one-sided.  We only reach out when we need something or to vent instead of consistently connecting to learn, love and encourage each other.  So as I move into marriage, I am humble because I have so much to learn and improve upon.  I can admit that I don’t know everything, but I do know that I want to be the best that I can be.   

So as I grow through his journey, I will be sharing my musings and experiences with you. I want to share and learn, so please comment. Let me know your thoughts or experiences about love, marriage or anything else in between.

In the meantime, enjoy the long weekend.

Peace and Blessings, ThatKellieGirl  

DJ SPINNA returns to DC at U Street Music Hall along with Chris Burns and DJ Cortega.

Friday, February 17

U Street Music Hall

1115 U Street NW

10PM-3:30AM

Free before 11pm for 21+/$5 after/$5 advance for 18+

Get tickets here

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Come out to break a sweat this President’s Day Weekend at Queen Makeda with DJ Kayo and DJ Kyotey Grey rockin the 1’s and 2’s. They’ll be bangin out various genres from the old school, new school and beyond.

Friday, February 17

Queen Makeda

1917 7t St NW

10PM-3AM

FREE

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The Black Power Mixtape 1967–1975 is a documentary about the Black Power movement features Angela Davis, Bobby Seale, Stokely Carmichael, and a stellar soundtrack. National Museum of American History curator Fath Davis Ruffins introduces the film.

Saturday, February 18

National Portrait Gallery- McEvoy Auditorium (enter from G Street)

800 F Street, NW

1PM

FREE

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Distinguished Men Cookin’ with the Deltas is an annual community fundraiser, showcasing the culinary skills of home-grown amateur chefs, the District’s finest skilled chefs and renowned distinguished professionals. The 8th annual fundraiser benefits community outreach and service programs; provides college scholarships; and funds year round mentorship and academic enrichment programs. The community is invited to bundle up, come out and taste sample dishes prepared by our Distinguished Men while contributing to the success of a worthwhile cause. The men contend for the coveted People’s Choice award, aim to take home fabulous prizes in three different categories, and enjoy a friendly afternoon of competition. Distinguished Men, delectable sample sized dishes and door prizes, all culminate to create a great dining and entertainment affair that is sure to please!

Saturday, February 18

Howard University Blackburn Center Events
 
2397 6th street NW
 
3PM-6PM
 
Get tickets here 

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Come feel the energy at  AXÉ (ah-SHAY)! Featuring a majestic fusion of music and dance from Brazil and the African World.

Saturday, February 18

Fiesta Lounge

1327 Connecticut Ave NW

8PM-3AM

FREE Hot Food Buffet from 8pm – until supplies last

FREE Afro-Brazilian Dance Class at 9pm

FILHOS DE AXÉ – Live Brazilian Percussion

DJ UNDERDOG -Spinning Brazilian sounds and African rhythms

DJ BERIMBAU -Spinning fresh tracks from Brazil

SAMBA SHOW! -Special dance performances

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Lincoln Returns with its soon-to-be-famous Annual President’s Day Brunch!  The best mix of food and music for the celebrated holiday weekend in February. Music by DJ Adrian Loving + Guests

Sunday, February 19

Lincoln Restaurant DC
 
1110 Vermont Ave NW

11am-6pm

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Join us as we celebrate the music and life of James “Jay Dee/J Dilla” Yancey at the 7th Annual DC Loves Dilla event. Hosted by Grap Luva with live artwork by Aniekan Udofia.  Special invited guest Maureen “Ma Dukes” Yancey.  Featured DJs: Book, Roddy Rod, RBI, Pudge, Quartermaine, Stylus, Mimms, Harvey Dent, Cuzzin B, and 2-Tone Jones.

Sunday, February 19

U Street Music Hall

1115 U Street, NW

9PM

10 bucks

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Daylight seems like the perfect place to celebrate the life of “Soul Train” host Don Cornelius, who died this month, and, after last Saturday, Whitney Houston.Sunday, February 19

Liv

2001 11th Street NW

8PM-2AM

10 bucks

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Join us in celebration of Black History. On President’s Day, plan on doing a flash mob dance and soul train line. If you love to dance join us. If you just want to watch, join us. This is our month. Let’s pay tribute to those who came before us.  Click here for the MJ routine.

Monday, February 20

Martin Luther King, Jr. National Memorial

1964 Independence Ave., SW

2PM

For those who want to practice, there will be a practice session on Saturday at 1:00pm on Oklahoma Ave NE at the greens between 22nd and 23rd St NE. This is by the parking lots for RFK Stadium.

For updates, click here

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Don’t miss Yasiin Bey performing at the 9:30 Club.

Monday, February 20

9:30 Club

815 V St. NW

Get tickets here

11 comments

  1. I have been waiting ever so patiently for this cause I always knew it was coming 🙂 I remember early on watching ya’ll dance together…the way you connected. Something spoke to me and said, this is right 🙂 I saw you together soon after at an event at Sankofa and asked you how things were going. You were like “Okayyyy….we’re taking it slow.” Don’t know if you remember but I told you then that was your boo for life! And when I told Emeka at one of the Boo Bashes how much I admired your relationship, the way he expressed to me how he felt about you…girl, like I said, I’ve been waiting on this news! I couldn’t be happier for you both.

    As I’ve been personally battling with my outlook on marriage, your news and this post are right on time. I love and support both of you. You will have a blessed marriage, one that will be an inspiration for others as society continues to attack black relationships. Congratulations!

    PS You’re going to be a stunning bride 😉

    • Thank you Danielle! I truly appreciate your beautiful words. You have always been encouraging and so supportive. I pray that you are blessed. Do not become discouraged, jaded or bitter. Just keep God first, treat others right, and continue to live life to the fullest. Some of the best things in life come when you are least expect it because you are busy living. That is what happened to me. Love you sister!

  2. Congrats on your engagement Kellie! It’s refreshing to hear your news – it brought an instant smile to my face. You bring up some good points about the importance of family being a support system for you and your fiance as you both enter what will be the most critical phase in your life. I can also relate to the “bonnie and clyde” mentality you mentioned (LOL). My hubby and I have been likened as twins or siblings on a number of occasions because we do resemble one another and can always be found hanging out like a brother and sister 🙂

    Having been w/him for 11 years and married for the last 3, I’d like to play devil’s advocate based on personal experiences I’ve had w/my family/friends.

    At times, in order for you to preserve and build a strong and healthy bond with your husband to be, you may have to turn a blind eye or keep certain folks at bay when making decisions that involve you both. When seeking advice from sister friends, mom’s, auntie, and even grandma, listen objectively, not subjectively, because they’re perspectives may not be aligned with yours.

    Peace and positivity!
    Bahati

    • Thanks for the blessings Bahati! And I agree there will be some things that will just remain between you and your spouse. However, we always hear about “me and my boo”, which is why I wanted to focus on how to still keep your relatonship in tact with others. From my experiences, I have found that women will keep their relationship so private that they end up isolating themselves and cutting off their support system. When they look around, especially in a time of need or even crisis that support isnt there. As the old folks used to say, “don’t forsake the fellowship”. In order to make it, we need each other. Now does that include everyone…No! We are supposed to seek WISE counsel and learn how to set boundaries with people. You might not see your girls as much, but you have to connect at least monthly, bi-monthly, or what works for you. Same for your family. This reduces stress because you have support, and it actually allows you to be more considerate and appreciative of your spouse when you connect with other couples. So to get to the point, you need both. You should be about your relationship with your spouse as well as continue to connect with others. Let’s continue to build and grow. 🙂 Peace.

      • Truer and wise words indeed! I often think about the relationships both myself and friends/family members have neglected over the years because of distance and not enough time. My hope is that true friends know that distance and time will never change how I feel about them.

  3. Well said, Kellie, it is true that we only connect when we want something or to vent. Relationships are important and when we take the time to connect to others we realize just how much they add to our lives. Congratulations to you and Emeka. Continue to allow the love of God to shine through you both. Cherish those old as well as new friends and the bond the two of you have will continue to flourish.

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