Hey Good Folks,
I have a confession to make. At times, I can be distrustful of people at times.
It can be as simple as why is she looking at me like that. I don’t know her. And the Boo says to me, don’t go into the dark room. Then the woman comes over to me and says, I love your dress. Where did you get it? *whomp, whomp*
Why do we do this? I believe that this is a defense mechanism. To avoid disappointment, embarrassment, rejection, or humiliation, we put on the defense of distrust. When we do this, our insecurities are rearing their ugly heads. A great example of this is the “Taco Party” commercial.
The office worker’s fear of rejection (not being invited to the taco party) caused him to throw everyone under the bus. Most people tend to see distrustful behavior at work, but we can find it anywhere. We cut others down to make ourselves feel look and better, or to deflect attention from our shortcomings. All we are doing is creating a toxic and stressful environment. And we wonder why people are sick, depressed on plain unhappy. I’ve been in hostile situations where I felt like I was playing war games. It eventually lead to me becoming stressed out, then sick. Ultimately, we justify our distrustful nature because we have the battle stories (and scars) to prove it. However, I am learning that continuing this behavior only perpetuates the cycle that hurts people.
So how can we stop being distrustful with each other? It begins within. If you want to change your environment, you have to change first.
1.) Keep Your Eye on the Prize: Many of us don’t feel good physically, mentally, emotionally because we don’t know where we are going. We live day by day with no direction. A purpose is our compass. It gives you focus. So when someone looks at you (real or imaginary), it doesn’t matter because you can’t be distracted by little things. Your purpose motivates you to learn, grow and excel towards becoming the self-realized and self-fulfilled purpose you are supposed to be.
2.) Reboot Your System: After work, we have to muster up strength to cook, balance the checkbook and do other household tasks. And if you have children, there are even more demands of your time. So it is important to carve out time to reboot your system. You can do this by praying, meditating and affirming yourself. Even a computer has to shut down or you will start to see glitches. You know you have daily responsibilities, so to be mentally clear and focus, you have to reboot.
3.) Get Fit: Another way to reboot your system is to exercise. Inactivity actually makes you more tired. Exercise allows you to release stress, but it will also rejuvenate your body. We also want to eat foods that give us energy to accomplish our daily tasks.
4.) Don’t Take It Personal: I think this is one of the most important things we can do for ourselves. It’s not about you, it’s about whatever issues the person is dealing with. As the Boo says to me, “Hurting people, hurt people.” The person who is always complaining, belittling or just plain negative is the person who is usually hurting the most. This doesn’t excuse the behavior, but it at least puts things in perspective. It helps when we try to look beyond the surface rather than write off a person. When we learn to step outside of ourselves, we might be a little more understanding and empathetic to others. The best thing we can do is to either try to speak to them about their behavior. Or treat them cordially and keep it moving.
Ultimately I am saying, believe in the best of yourself and others. When we focus on the positive, we kill our fears, negativity and distrust in ourselves and others. And even when they show you their “not-so-best”, show them more love and kindness. This is usually when they need it the most. We have to do something different if we want to see different results, right. So whatever positive changes you want to make in your life, start your changes from the inside, then out.
One last thing, Happy Women’s History Month! 🙂
Making HerStory celebrates the vast and diverse forms of creativity offered by women artists. In its 6th year, Making HerStory6,The Annual Celebration of women in the Arts will host a month full of unifying events in honor of women artists in all genres.
Grand Opening is tonight, Friday, March 4
Center for Green Urbanism
39238 Benning Rd NE
Showing during the Intersections Festival, Paige in Full is a visual mix-tape that blends poetry, dance and live music to tell the tale of a multicultural girl growing up in Baltimore, MD. The production explores how a young woman’s identity is shaped by her ethnicity and popular culture, telling a personal, yet universal, story through the lens of hip-hop.
Mar 4,5, 6, 11, 12
Atlas Performing Arts Center
1333 H St NW
Price: $20/ $15 for students and seniors
Every Tuesday and Friday, come sing your heart out at The Meeting Place during Karaoke.
Friday, March 4
The Meeting Place
1707 L St NW
Honfleur Gallery, the exhibition “Try a Little Tenderness as Painful as It Seems” features work by Ben Skinner, a Canadian artist who believes in “the phonetics of materials and the grammar of space”. Blending fine craftsmanship and a contemporary aesthetic, Skinner excels at recognizing social and urban phenomena– or, as he puts it, to point at things directing the viewer’s attention to something they may normally miss.
March 4th-April 8th
Grand Opening tonight, Friday, March 4
1241 Good Hope Rd SE
Click here for passes
One of my fav DJs, Jahsonic will be spinning at ESL. Go check him out.
Saturday, March 5th
Eighteenth Street Lounge
1212 18th St NW
It is carnival time again! The islands stand united in positivity and love at Patty Boom Boom.
Saturday, March 5
Patty Boom Boom
1359 U St NW
Seed the Sound is Bloombars’ weekly acoustic jam session featuring Terrence Cunningham and special guests from a variety of genres. BloomBars is a non-profit community arts space that redefines the concept of a bar; uniting communities through the arts and nurturing local artists.
Sunday, March 6
3222 11th St NW
Enjoy your weekend! 🙂