Hello Beautiful People.
So ThatKellieGirl has been reading this wonderful book entitled “All the Joy You Can Stand” by Debrena Jackson Gandy, and it’s been making me stop and say “Hhhhmmmmm.” :-)
I’ve had this book for a while, but never got to it. So while re-organizing books and records, literally, this book popped out. And it has been right on time for me.
Check out this short excerpt from “All the Joy You Can Stand”. You might even want to pick the book up for yourself.
Peace and Blessings, ThatKellieGirl :-)
I love myself.
We are quick to say it and quick to assert it especially in the company of other sistahs. However…many of us say we love ourselves, but if we pay close attention to our words and thoughts, and observe our behaviours, actions, and choices -how we treat our bodies, each other, our kids, our mates, our money, and how we invest our energy and use our time-we would see a contradiction…We’ve been told to love ourselves…but many of us haven’t seen it modeled and it hasn’t been “exampled” for us. It exists as a good idea in our minds, but it is not yet a reality in our lives.
Taught how to maintain and groom our bodies? Yes.
Taught to love ourselves. No.
…So we literally must unlearn self-loathing and relearn self-love…We must learn to assign a high value to ourselves and then demonstrate a belief in this high value…I, as positive and spiritual as I thought myself to be, had evidence of self-loathing sprinkled throughout my life…I had dishonored my time, body or energy. The evidence was in the times I had over-committed myself, said yes when I really wanted to say no, or allowed myself to be put in uncomfortable situations out of feelings of obligation or guilt. Self-loathing showed up on occasions when I had eaten snacks late at night when I knew it was not good for my body or I had not given my body enough rest or a much needed break. The evidence was in the times I’d mismanaged my money and allowed myself to get into positions where my financial debt weighed on me like an anchor; when I felt compelled to always be on the go, in the mix, or at all of the professional networking and social functions. The evidence was in the times I would agree to go out with friends even when I was dead tired after a rough week at work; and when I allowed men with questionable character and negative energy into my body in the form of sex. Yes, there are many signs and much evidence to confirm that there were a lot of holes, rips, and tears in the fabric of my self-love.
We don’t’ want to beat ourselves up. We don’t want to flog ourselves for poor choices we’ve made in the past, or for our bad habits or problems. But we want to tell the truth: collectively and thus individually, we are not doing a good job of loving ourselves as we may think we are. And in this acknowledgement lies the beginning of our healing, the beginning of our journey, and the first step toward learning self-love.